Oh man. I haven't posted in such a long time. My life has just been so disorganized and up in the air. So much has happened that I can hardly even get my thoughts in order. And this is particularly difficult for me being a perfectionist.
I've been trying to develop some sort of online business for myself for the pass few years. But it seems that when I have my plan down and am ready to get going something happens to put me off track from my Internet endeavors into something I had no plan for at all. A little over six years ago I started trying to build my own web presence but had a set back when I had found I had breast cancer. So I took time to do what I had to do to get through that situation. Then just when I thought I was ready to get myself together and move forward with my Internet Entrepreneur idea, my youngest son was injured in a work related accident. Which has had surgery after surgery over the pass three and a half years. Now as his physical therapy is winding down to a close and I was ever so ready to do my thing something else has raisin to try to distract me from my goal. But I refuse to let this interfere this time. I have so many ideas and I know that I can profit from them given the proper time and effort.
What is this new thing that is planning on trying to still my time from me? Cancer. Yes, my breast cancer has returned. I just happen to be one of those few rare people who even though I took extensive steps above and beyond what I needed or was required to do to prevent the cancer from coming back have a recurrence. I'm not ready for this nor do I want to go through this; but what choice(s) do I have? Anyway I'm going to try to use my down time (chemotherapy and radiation means many days spent at the hospital or at home) when I'm not feeling to ill, to devote to working on my web world. I have purchased myself a voice recorder, digital camera, camcorder, and a few other gadgets so I can try and work on my web sites when ever, where ever I can.
I may do a lot of venting here about my cancer and my treatment. But the main focus of this blog is to somehow keep me centered. I'm not sure how far progressed my cancer is. I'm still doing testing. I don't feel to ill. Just fatigue easily. But I keep telling everyone I'm not dying. I'm just sick. I just have a chronic illness that will have to be closely monitored and maintained for the rest of my life. And I have no plans of leaving this planet anyways soon.
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Don't Fear the Change
I would like to expound more on the topic tigga76 posted yesterday. Change. Change denotes the transition that occurs between one state to another. Charge is a force. Change can also be a choice. We all must go through many so call changes in life in order to grow.
My brother and his wife of sixteen years just recently broke up. My brother was wondering what he could do to repair their relationship. As a outsider looking in I told my brother that his wife has made a decision to go on with her life without him. I told him not to fear the change. Because fearing the change was not going to change the situation. Here, in this case, change was a force for my brother but a choice for my soon to be ex sister-in-law.
As for myself. Almost five years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was faced with some pretty heavy choices concerning my treatment or non-treatment. Again change was a force in this decision. But I also was allowed to make some choices for the changes that were to come.
Today I am a five year survivor. However I am soon to face that impostor "fear" again. The medication that I have been taking so faithfully everyday for the pass five years will soon come to a end. I don't know what the next step in my treatment will be. I'm going to feel strange not taking those little white pills any more. They gave me a certain amount of comfort. Knowing that the medication is in my system fighting off any new and killing off any old cancer cells. So I fear the change. But I will not and can not let fear make choices for me.
Or when my hair first started turning grey. That was a change I have no control over. Others would ask me why don't I dye my hair? My reply "Why should I". The dye will eventually wash or grow out and the grey hair will once again assert itself. So I just accepted the change.
Our parents and grandparents lived in a different world. Same planet (almost), different world. Change has brought about a different world than they grew up in. Many older people fear the changes that has come with the technological advances in this day. Many grew up in a age when they thought the idea of a television (and we're talking black & white TV) was impossible in their minds. Now look at where change has taken the television.
The world is a very different place than I grew up in. And it has even changed more doing the life time of my sons who are in the twenties now. Who knows what the world will be like when my grand children are adults.
Change is important. We all need change. It is not possible to grow without change. I mean what would the world be without change. Would we have evolved into the humans we are today? Can you imagine not having computers or the Internet, HD television or cellphones? All because of change do we now have these devices.
Change has two faces. It can be good as well as bad. It can be a force or a choice. It is what you do with that change when it comes to you that matters. Change is inevitable. So don't fear the change.
My brother and his wife of sixteen years just recently broke up. My brother was wondering what he could do to repair their relationship. As a outsider looking in I told my brother that his wife has made a decision to go on with her life without him. I told him not to fear the change. Because fearing the change was not going to change the situation. Here, in this case, change was a force for my brother but a choice for my soon to be ex sister-in-law.
As for myself. Almost five years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was faced with some pretty heavy choices concerning my treatment or non-treatment. Again change was a force in this decision. But I also was allowed to make some choices for the changes that were to come.
Today I am a five year survivor. However I am soon to face that impostor "fear" again. The medication that I have been taking so faithfully everyday for the pass five years will soon come to a end. I don't know what the next step in my treatment will be. I'm going to feel strange not taking those little white pills any more. They gave me a certain amount of comfort. Knowing that the medication is in my system fighting off any new and killing off any old cancer cells. So I fear the change. But I will not and can not let fear make choices for me.
Or when my hair first started turning grey. That was a change I have no control over. Others would ask me why don't I dye my hair? My reply "Why should I". The dye will eventually wash or grow out and the grey hair will once again assert itself. So I just accepted the change.
Our parents and grandparents lived in a different world. Same planet (almost), different world. Change has brought about a different world than they grew up in. Many older people fear the changes that has come with the technological advances in this day. Many grew up in a age when they thought the idea of a television (and we're talking black & white TV) was impossible in their minds. Now look at where change has taken the television.
The world is a very different place than I grew up in. And it has even changed more doing the life time of my sons who are in the twenties now. Who knows what the world will be like when my grand children are adults.
Change is important. We all need change. It is not possible to grow without change. I mean what would the world be without change. Would we have evolved into the humans we are today? Can you imagine not having computers or the Internet, HD television or cellphones? All because of change do we now have these devices.
Change has two faces. It can be good as well as bad. It can be a force or a choice. It is what you do with that change when it comes to you that matters. Change is inevitable. So don't fear the change.
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