Me Again

Oh man. I haven't posted in such a long time. My life has just been so disorganized and up in the air. So much has happened that I can hardly even get my thoughts in order. And this is particularly difficult for me being a perfectionist.
I've been trying to develop some sort of online business for myself for the pass few years. But it seems that when I have my plan down and am ready to get going something happens to put me off track from my Internet endeavors into something I had no plan for at all. A little over six years ago I started trying to build my own web presence but had a set back when I had found I had breast cancer. So I took time to do what I had to do to get through that situation. Then just when I thought I was ready to get myself together and move forward with my Internet Entrepreneur idea, my youngest son was injured in a work related accident. Which has had surgery after surgery over the pass three and a half years. Now as his physical therapy is winding down to a close and I was ever so ready to do my thing something else has raisin to try to distract me from my goal. But I refuse to let this interfere this time. I have so many ideas and I know that I can profit from them given the proper time and effort.
What is this new thing that is planning on trying to still my time from me? Cancer. Yes, my breast cancer has returned. I just happen to be one of those few rare people who even though I took extensive steps above and beyond what I needed or was required to do to prevent the cancer from coming back have a recurrence. I'm not ready for this nor do I want to go through this; but what choice(s) do I have? Anyway I'm going to try to use my down time (chemotherapy and radiation means many days spent at the hospital or at home) when I'm not feeling to ill, to devote to working on my web world. I have purchased myself a voice recorder, digital camera, camcorder, and a few other gadgets so I can try and work on my web sites when ever, where ever I can.
I may do a lot of venting here about my cancer and my treatment. But the main focus of this blog is to somehow keep me centered. I'm not sure how far progressed my cancer is. I'm still doing testing. I don't feel to ill. Just fatigue easily. But I keep telling everyone I'm not dying. I'm just sick. I just have a chronic illness that will have to be closely monitored and maintained for the rest of my life. And I have no plans of leaving this planet anyways soon.

Consistency

Consistence. That is what I have not been in writing this blog. I really intend to blog everyday. I do try. I do get up in time to blog every morning. And I'm not making any excuses for my not blogging. Some mornings when I get up I come straight to my computer to start working and my mind just goes blank. Oh yea, sure, when I first get up so many things are whirling around in my head. From fragments of dreams left over to what my schedule is going to be for the day.

Then lets add into the mix a mate who needs or wants something from you. Now I am away from my computer doing household chores, running errands here and there. By the time I'm done with all that my mind is so distracted that I can now not blog because I can't concentrate or focus for fear that as soon as I get absorbed into what I am suppose to be doing. Should be doing. Need to be doing. Someone or something else will come along to distract me.

Now you may say but this blog is the five-o-five. Aren't you suppose to blog when you first arise in the morning? Well yes. Can I actually blog at that time of the morning? Yes. And no. As I said before so many thoughts are bombarding me that I don't know what to blog. And like the creator of this blogging community I would like to blog what's on my mind first thing in the morning. I do not want to use some prewritten entry. No, because when I first decided to join this community I was the only one in my house getting up at five-0-clock in the morning. So I had quiet time to myself. Now my mate has ajusted his scheduel to get up at the same time I do. The distractions begin. My quiet time gone.

I am not going to make any promises. I do see the benfits of blogging first thing in the morning. So I will try harder to be more consistenced in my blogging every morning. Even if I just say hello to another morning that I rise. No excuses.